The Night Before The Day: Scared

I'm scared.

I lie awake, sleepless and alone.

In the silence I'm reminded of a song:

 Tiredness fuels

Empty thoughts
I find myself disposed
Brightness fills
Empty space
In search of Inspiration

I keep thinking "What if I am?" that phrase keeps resounding in my head... A gentle lullaby echoing through the inner constructs of my mind.

A brilliant linguist once theorized that the different combinations of sounds effect the human mind and body differently. He even said that out of all the possible combinations of sounds that could form phrases in the English language the most pleasing phrases to the human ear, when taken out of their contexts, are "cellar door" and "windowsill". These I do not hear.

I hear "What if I am?" ....and when I do, I feel fear. The sound of it as it falls on my ears is sweet and bitter at the same time. It's like a breeze that's just too cold. Sweet and gentle, somehow calming in a way, but cuts me right to the bone.

I need to try to sleep. I just want tomorrow to be over with.
-- Boi